Bloodstain
by Shedemei
Summary: While on the journey to the Southern Water Tribe to see if Katara can restore her bending, Korra finds that, unsurprisingly, Lin Beifong is the only one who really understands how it feels to be cut off from her bending. Korra also finds that Lin has suffered more than being "equalized". Pre-Linorra.
1. It Does Feel Lonely

Bloodstain

Chapter One: It Does Feel Lonely

Summary: While on the journey to the Southern Water Tribe to see if Katara can restore Korra's bending, Korra notices that Lin doesn't seem to be feeling well.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Pairings: Korra/Lin ("Linorra", "Korralin")

Author's Notes: This was spawned by a prompt for Linorra week. My muses decided that my "bloodstain" drabble-like thing was part of a multi-chapter fic.

* * *

Korra couldn't sleep. Again.

Oogi didn't have the stamina to carry Korra, Mako, Bolin, Asami, the airbending family, and Chief Bei Fong on the most direct route to the South Pole, so they were taking a small ship. Korra was constantly surrounded by water to which she no longer felt a connection. The soft lapping of the water against the hull that Korra could clearly hear now that they were moored for the night was close to torture. So she tiptoed out of her room.

At first she wasn't sure what she was looking for; her mind was fuzzy with lack of sleep and she felt somewhat directionless. Then she realized her feet were carrying her to where Chief Bei Fong was sleeping.

Not that everyone else had been unsympathetic—quite the opposite—but the Chief (Korra couldn't help but think of her with that title, despite the fact that she had resigned) was the only one who knew how it felt to lose one's bending. Korra had asked her about it that morning when they were both unpacking their things; the airbending family had a large room on the boat, Mako and Bolin had a smallish room, and both Korra and Asami had their own rooms. The ship's captain had a room, but there were no other places for any guests to sleep. Rather than doubling up with Korra or Asami, Chief Bei Fong had offered to sleep in one of the common areas; Korra's room was really large enough for two people, though, so the Chief was keeping the few belongings she had brought on the trip in there.

When they had first boarded the boat, Korra hadn't felt like associating with anyone, so she had immediately scooted off to her assigned room. At the same time, though, Chief Bei Fong had also brought the few belongings she would need on the trip into the room and was trying to organize them; she had been able to tell Korra didn't want to be bothered and opted for polite silence following a brief "Hello, avatar...I'll be quick. I won't trouble you."

There was, however, something Korra wanted to address that she couldn't bring up with anyone else. "Chief?" Korra had asked hesitantly, nervous about talking to her about anything personal but sick of not being able to discuss how empty and frightened she felt without her bending.

"I resigned, remember? You may call me Lin, if you wish."

"Okay. Lin." Korra took a deep breath. "Did it hurt?" She could barely get the words out. "When Amon took your bending. Was it...painful?"

Lin regarded Korra steadily. "In every way possible, yes."

Korra blinked back tears. "I just feel so...so empty without my bending. I know I can airbend, but I can't remember a time when I couldn't waterbend. I'm cut off from the water. It feels lonely. Sad and lonely." Korra had begun to cry in earnest then, and had moved to turn away in shame, but before she knew what was happening, she felt herself wrapped in a tight embrace, and it was the Chief—Lin—who was holding her.

"It does feel lonely, doesn't it?" The voice was so gentle Korra hardly recognized it. "It feels half like missing a limb, half like missing a close friend."

"Yes," Korra sobbed. "That is it. Exactly."

Korra had been ashamed of her tears and tried unsuccessfully to stop them; she apologized for crying, but Lin had touched her hair and told her "Don't say you're sorry for your feelings. I know you're suffering. Go ahead and cry."

Korra didn't know how long she had stayed there with Lin holding her, all of her fear and insecurity and pain flooding out in loud, ugly sobs. Lin never complained, even when her shirt was soaked with Korra's snot and tears. Instead of complaining, she had simply told Korra that she was available if Korra needed to talk about the loss of her bending.

It had been so comforting. Korra had always loved hugs, any hugs as long as they were consensual, but something about the one embrace she had shared with Lin stuck with her. Maybe it was that Lin didn't seem naturally affectionate, so it must have meant she felt truly sympathetic toward Korra. Maybe it was that when Korra had stopped crying, she felt calmed and safe in the former police chief's arms, but as soon as Lin let her go she started feeling frightened again.

Lin was asleep now, or at least ostensibly asleep. She was lying on her side on a pile of blankets and not moving, her back facing Korra. As Korra crept closer, she noticed that Lin's shirt was oddly colored; when she was only a few inches from Lin, she peered through the low light to realize in horror that the back of Lin's shirt was covered in a half-dried bloodstain. The little cry of alarm escaped Korra's lips before she could stop herself; immediately Lin turned over to face Korra, tense and primed as if ready to leap into battle. She rubbed her eyes when she saw Korra, as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. "Avatar?"

"What happened to you?" Korra whispered. "Your back..."

Lin's face fell. "I was hoping the bleeding hadn't started again..."

"But what happened? Was it the Equalists?"

Lin nodded. "I should change the bandages. I have some spare ones in your room, but I didn't want to wake you."

"I couldn't sleep. And even if I were asleep, if you're injured...I wouldn't mind. Come on, let's get you some new bandages."

Lin got up, keeping her face flat and free of emotion. Knowing Lin, Korra guessed that she was probably in pain and doing a good job masking it. After she managed to stop being distracted by the rate at which Lin's white shirt was turning red, Korra noticed that it looked like Lin's whole torso was bandaged. After Korra let Lin into her room and helped her find her spare bandages, she peeled off the shirt; it was tacky with blood and stuck to her back. "I think this shirt might be a dead loss," she said somewhat irritably, as if the problem were the shirt and not how much blood she was losing. Korra saw that she was right; Lin was wrapped in bandages from waist almost up to her neck. "Korra, would you mind giving me a few moments of privacy?"

"Wait, what?" Korra blurted out. "You don't want help?"

Lin raised and lowered one shoulder so slightly Korra could barely see the movement; doubtless that kind of motion was painful for her. "I wrapped the bandages myself earlier. If you could bring me some water, though, I don't want these to get infected."

Korra shook her head. "If I were still of any use, I could use water to heal those."

Lin looked at Korra rather sadly. "You shouldn't talk like that. Your bending loss is only temporary, and even if it's not, you should never call yourself useless."

Korra sighed. "I can bring you some water." She went to the kitchen area where clean water was kept. She heated it in a kettle on the stove, wishing so hard it hurt that she could firebend to heat the water; Katara had taught her some non-bending-related things about healing, one of which included how to wash wounds and keep them clean. Korra had mentally scoffed at the lessons, believing she would always be able to heal with waterbending, and had only paid attention because she liked and respected Katara. Now she was glad she had listened.

She brought the kettle of warm water to Lin, who was sitting on the floor facing away from Korra. She had removed her bandages, revealing long red stripes down her back. The wounds were deep, and clearly still open, appearing to have scabbed over only slightly. Lin turned to look over her shoulder at Korra as she entered. "Water. Thank you."

"What...um...what did that? It looks like it was a knife."

"No, a whip. I think it was a bullwhip. I didn't get a particularly good look, but it feels like I was struck several times along the same...trajectory, I guess you could say."

Korra forced herself to look more closely. There appeared to be four long, thick whip wales, but each wound was actually composed of many clustered strokes. Whoever had beaten Lin was clearly a well-practiced torturer. Korra had had no appetite that night and was glad she hadn't eaten; the thoughts running through her head were making her stomach roil angrily. "But...Tenzin and Pema, and the kids...they weren't hurt. Neither were a lot of the other prisoners...former benders..."

"I was being interrogated regarding your whereabouts. Before Amon took my bending, he said he would let me keep it if I told him where you were. Of course I point-blank refused. But one of his lieutenants thought it was worthwhile to try to torture me into telling them where you were. I gave them false information to try to throw them off your trail, but...that was of no help, apparently." Lin smiled feebly. "I'm sorry."

Korra failed to see why Lin was apologizing. "It's not your fault. I revealed myself to Amon when I tried to tell everybody the truth about him."

"Well, thank you for the water, anyway. I should wash these before it gets cold..." Lin reached for the kettle with one hand, keeping one arm over her chest for modesty's sake, but Korra pulled away. "It's okay. I can probably reach better."

Lin shook her head. "I wouldn't ask you to do that."

"Lin, losing my bending was hard enough, but I was also a waterbending healer. It's bad enough that I can't heal you, but it's about killing me to see you injured knowing you were hurt protecting me and now I feel awful I didn't even think of coming to rescue you after I found out you were captured by the Equalists. Please let me help you with this." The words came out in a rush.

Lin thought for a moment before replying. "If it will help assuage your conscience, then you may help."

Korra dipped a cloth she had also retrieved into the kettle, wrung out the extra water, and gently pressed the cloth onto Lin's shoulder. Lin managed not to flinch as Korra moved the cloth over the wounds as carefully as she could, dabbing up the blood first and lightly scrubbing the wounds to clean them. Lin never moved or made a sound; her ability to ignore pain was almost eerie.

Korra slowly grew used to the sight of the deep, unsettling wounds, and her thoughts began to turn to Lin herself. She was of lean build, not unlike her mother had been if the pictures (not to mention the statue in Republic City) were to be believed, and even through the cloth Korra could feel the tightly wired muscles of her back. Korra ached to summon healing energy and pass her hands over Lin's flesh, making the ugly marks disappear, never to be seen marring Lin's body again. It was like defacing a finely crafted work of art, Korra thought as she used the tail end of one bandage to dry the dampness the cloth had left. How could anyone bring themselves to mark up something so lovely?

"I think they're pretty clean now."

"Thank you, Avatar."

"You can call me Korra, if you want." Korra turned over the cloth in her hands. It had once been light blue. If she didn't wash it soon, it would be one big bloodstain. "Do you need help with the bandages?"

Lin shook her head. "I would appreciate the help, but this is nothing you need to see."

"I've already seen the, you know, whip marks," Korra protested.

Lin looked surprised. "I didn't mean the whip marks."

"Well...I don't understand." Korra's brow furrowed.

"I meant you shouldn't have to look at me," said Lin gently.

"Well, if you don't want me to, I won't look." But that didn't mean she couldn't help. Korra began wrapping one long bandage at Lin's waist, slowly moving up, staying behind Lin so she wouldn't violate the other woman's desire for privacy. When she was finished tying off the bandage, she asked "Is that too tight?"

"It's fine."

Korra slumped forward so her head was resting on Lin's shoulder. She wanted to apologize, to blurt out that she was sorry, that she had probably been either aching to punch some Equalists in the face or gazing at Mako while Lin was being beaten, and it hadn't occurred to Korra once that somebody should go after Lin after she had risked her life for the airbenders. She was the last Bei Fong, a master earthbender and metalbender, former police chief of Republic City, and she had ties to Korra. Of course she was going to be terribly mistreated. She was lucky to be alive. She might have died trying to protect Korra, and she hadn't crossed the girl's mind once. The mental image of Lin's blooded bandages was burned into her mind now, an image pulsing with guilt. Korra couldn't manage to voice any of that, though, so she just whispered "Do you want to stay with me tonight?"

"That's all right. I get more rack time than I do sleep in my bed at home, so my body likely wouldn't know what to do with a comfortable bed."

"Um...rack time?"

"There are bunks in the precinct for when we're working cases around the clock. It's referred to as 'the rack', and sleeping there is 'rack time'."

Korra carefully put her arms around Lin's waist, trying to avoid pressing against or touching her injuries. "Please? I'm used to sleeping next to a big cozy polar bear dog. I feel comfortable with you."

Lin got up with a sigh, forcing Korra's arms to fall away from her. "I know you're feeling lonely and vulnerable right now. Trust me, I am too. But it would be seriously improper of me to sleep in the same bed with a seventeen-year-old girl."

"I couldn't sleep. I got up to find you so I could ask you to stay with me. We don't even have to, you know, cuddle or anything. I just want you to be there."

Lin snickered mirthlessly. "And bring everyone running when you wake up screaming after finding me next to you?"

"If I wake up and find you next to me, I'll probably give you a hug and ask if your back is feeling any better," Korra protested.

Lin thought for a moment. "Go ahead and get into bed. I'll be right back."

Korra lay down. Lin returned in a few moments, having put on some kind of loose overshirt; Korra felt disappointed for some reason. Lin was also carrying a chair with her, which she placed at the bedside. She sat down and reached for Korra's hand; Korra clasped Lin's hand tightly. "Can you sleep sitting up?"

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep, but I'll stay here if you want me to."

Korra moved closer to the edge of the bed and, in a moment of boldness, brushed her lips against Lin's knuckles. "Thanks, Lin. I'm sure I'll sleep fine now."

* * *

When Korra woke the next morning, the chair beside her bed was the only indication that Lin had been there. Korra remembered that they had still been holding hands when she had fallen asleep. Had Lin been able to sleep at all? Had she left after Korra had fallen asleep?

There was a light tap on the door. Korra immediately burrowed under the covers, disgusted by the possibility of interacting with another person. "Korra?"

It was Lin's voice. Well, at least she would probably understand that Korra wanted to be left alone. "Not now."

"It's nearly noon. Tenzin and Pema are fussing over the fact that you haven't eaten since we boarded."

Korra groaned. "I'm not hungry."

"I thought you might say that. May I come in?"

So much for her understanding I want to be left alone, Korra thought with a grimace. "Okay."

Lin opened the door. She was wearing some kind of black robe that she had probably chosen to wear because it didn't irritate her injured back, and she was holding a ceramic bowl in one hand. "I'm sure you're not hungry. But you should keep your strength up. I brought you some plain porridge; hopefully your stomach won't object." She walked over and placed it on the chair where she had been sitting the night before. "I don't feel like I can eat either. But I know you're hurting. Don't hurt yourself more."

With that, Lin turned to walk away; Korra caught her hand. "Lin...wait. Please."

Lin looked at Korra expectantly, still appearing somewhat confused. "Do you. Um. Do you need help with your bandages again?"

"I took care of them myself this morning. You were still asleep, and considering how surprised I was that you were able to sleep, I didn't want to disturb you."

"I wouldn't have minded."

Korra was still holding Lin's hand. Lin sat down on the edge of the mattress. "What is your newfound fascination with my hands?"

"They're weird," said Korra without thinking.

"Oh, that's nice." Lin rolled her eyes.

"No, I mean...you've got these small, pretty noblewoman-looking hands, but they're all tough and strong." Korra pressed the aforementioned hand to her cheek.

"I bear a passing resemblance to my grandmother. That woman was more delicate than a boiled bamboo shoot."

Korra laughed. "That's funny. I didn't know you could be funny."

"I have my moments. Are you planning on holding my hand hostage?"

"Maybe."

Lin was quiet for a moment. "I'm more inclined to think you're still upset about losing your bending and are just holding my hand until I take you in my arms and tell you you can cry over the loss of your bending again."

Korra sighed. "Yeah, that's about it."

"All right, come here." Lin crawled over to Korra and draped an arm around her shoulders. Korra leaned her head against the base of Lin's neck, but was at a loss in terms of where to put her arms so she wouldn't aggravate Lin's injured back. Lin noticed. "It's going to hurt no matter what you do."

Korra linked her fingers behind the small of Lin's back. "Thanks, Lin," she whispered.

Lin lightly scratched Korra's scalp with her fingernails. "Do you want me to get Tenzin?"

"No."

"One of your friends?"

"No. I'm fine."

"Korra, the fact that also Amon took my bending isn't going to make me any better at comforting you. Comforting people is not one of my strong points."

"Hugs are comforting. Also, my friends call our, you know, our group...the 'new team Avatar'. And I came to Republic City for avatar training from Tenzin. But you never cared about me being the avatar. And you scritching my head is comforting too."

"No, I suppose your title never mattered to me except when I thought you were abusing it. And...'scritching'? Is that a word?"

"It is now."

"I genuinely have no idea how to comfort people. I'm scratching your head because the badgermoles like this."

"The badgermoles?" Korra blurted out before realizing that of course Lin would have befriended the badgermoles in and around Republic City; hadn't those same animals taught her mother to earthbend?

"Yes, particularly behind their ears. Although they are enormous, so I have to be careful they don't crush me...sometimes when they're really enjoying having their ears scratched, they'll roll over onto their backs."

"'Here lies the legendary and amazing Chief Lin Bei Fong, who was tragically killed when one of her beloved badgermoles crushed her while receiving ear-scritchins'," Korra intoned. "Yeah, not the most dignified eulogy."

Lin snickered once, and Korra couldn't help but smile; she'd made Lin laugh. Korra had never heard her laugh before. "I appreciate the compliments, but what does me not caring about your title as avatar have to do with how insistently you're clinging to me?"

"You won't...I don't know...fuss over me. Coddle me. I don't want to be fussed over. I just need a hug. And to be told it's okay to be upset over losing my bending. Even if you have to pretend I'm a badgermole. So how would a badgermole show affection back?"

"Hmm. Well, I'd rather you didn't do that."

"Oh really? Why?"

"This one male badgermole likes to wrestle with me. But most of the time, badgermoles lick each other's faces—or a person's face—to show affection."

"Huh. Okay." Korra leaned back far enough to flick her tongue against Lin's jaw; she meant to make the gesture a little bolder, but for some reason she couldn't place, nervousness held her back.

"Korra!" Lin sounded annoyed, but as Korra had predicted, she wasn't aggravated enough to push Korra away.

Korra rubbed her cheek against Lin's shoulder. "Am I being badgermole-like enough for you?"

"The badgermoles are cuter."

"I can be cute! Would you rather I be crying on your shoulder again?"

Lin paused. "No. I don't like seeing you upset. But I don't want you to stifle your feelings because it feels like you have to either."

"When did you get so nice?" Korra whispered.

Lin sniffed. "Since I don't like watching people suffer. Most of the police force shares that sentiment."

"I slept really well. You know, with you here. It was a really deep sleep. I think I was hoping I'd wake up and losing my bending was only a nightmare. It still feels like...like there's a huge hole in the pit of my stomach. Sad and lonely again. Or still sad and lonely. I don't know. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until we get to Katara."

Lin stopped scratching Korra's head and instead cradled her scalp in one hand. "I don't blame you."

"Please stay with me again tonight."

"I will."

"I can still feel Amon's hand on my face. On my head."

"Even now?" Lin brushed her thumb through Korra's hair; she was still holding Korra's head to her shoulder.

"It's not as bad now." Korra moved one of her hands to the back of Lin's head, trying to return the gesture. Lin didn't strike Korra as the type of person to primp, but her hair was fine and silky, as if she took good care of it.

"Have you tried distracting yourself from that feeling? It's not something I would suggest long-term, but perhaps you could try exploring your newfound connection to air more. I'm sure Tenzin would help without fussing over you."

"I'm much more comfortable doing this."

"Doing what? Sitting here holding on to my hair?"

Korra closed her eyes. "I guess now that you mentioned it, I'm going to have to cry on your shoulder."

"Go ahead and cry if you need to."

Korra felt tears begin seeping out from beneath her closed eyelids. "Spirits, Lin, why does it still hurt? Why couldn't I stop him? I guess I got what I deserved. I'm a lousy avatar, or I was."

"Hush. The training you'd had wasn't sufficient to deal with a master bloodbender. I know Tarrlok called you a 'half-baked avatar', but he was just trying to bait you."

"Maybe the spirits were wrong to choose me."

"Korra! Don't you say that."

"I'm not the avatar anymore. Maybe it's a sign. I wouldn't know; I have no connection to the spirit world."

"The spirits haven't been wrong before. I know you're hurting. But when you bumbled into my city with your ideals of vigilante justice, you seemed overzealous, but...devoted. If my bending can't be recovered, I'll find a way to still protect Republic City. And so will you."

Korra shook her head as best she could. "I'm not as strong as you, Lin."

"I think you underestimate yourself."

Korra stayed there, crying steadily, for a few more moments. "It looks like by the end of this trip, half of your clothes are going to be covered in blood and the other half are going to be covered in my snot."

"Hmm. Lovely." But Lin didn't move or protest.

There were footsteps. Korra looked up to see Mako standing in the doorway. "Afternoon, Mako," said Lin diplomatically.

When Korra met Mako's eyes, all the signs of her crush were there: fluttering heart, blood rushing to her cheeks, the sudden feeling that she was completely unable to form coherent sentences...except for one. Usually she felt like wrapping her arms around Mako every time she saw him, but at the moment, Lin was still holding on her head in a way that eased the constant psychological pain of Amon's terrible grip on her. She didn't want Lin to move. She didn't want to move either.

"Korra's awake?"

"Finally, yeah," said Korra feebly.

"And she's not feeling too well," Lin added.

Most people would have taken that as an indication that they should leave; Mako stepped into the room. "Well, let me talk to her."

"Try to get her to eat her porridge, would you?" Lin let go of Korra and stood up; Korra clenched her jaw to keep from making a disappointed noise. Lin could be much more warm and caring than Korra had ever thought, but apparently she could also turn that off as if with a switch. Korra actually shivered.

Lin walked out; Mako climbed onto the bed and scooped Korra into his arms. He hugged her tightly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Korra muttered. "Just...out of it."

"It's going to be okay," Mako insisted, pulling Korra into his lap. Korra was reminded of when he was carrying her just after Amon took her bending; her head started aching and throbbing where Amon had gripped her again, and she began sorely wishing Lin were still holding her. Mako, you're sweet, but please, can you not interrupt me and Lin? She knows how I'm feeling.

"Yeah...I know. I just...it feels so awful to be cut off from the water. So lonely."

Mako gave her a squeeze. "You don't have to feel lonely."

Korra thought of Lin's gentle hand on the back of her head. "I guess I don't."

* * *

A/N: _Scars and Bandages_ is still in progress. There will probably be at least 3 more chapters. My muses for this fic were...louder, I guess? I don't know how much I'll be producing in the immediate future because I'm in danger of being kicked out of my grad school, and apparently my diagnosis of MDD might be wrong and I actually may have bipolar disorder and present with mixed affective states instead of manic ones. Oh, and the reason my academic standing is in jeopardy? One exam. My first grad school exam ever. Ain't life grand?


	2. Are You There, Spirits? It's Me, Korra

Bloodstain

Chapter Two: Are You There, Spirits? It's Me, Korra

Summary: While on the journey to the Southern Water Tribe to see if Katara can restore her bending, Korra finds that, unsurprisingly, Lin Beifong is the only one who really understands how it feels to be cut off from her bending. Korra also finds that Lin has suffered more than being "equalized". Pre-Linorra.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Pairings: Korra/Lin ("Linorra", "Korralin")

Author's Notes: This was spawned by a prompt for Linorra week. My muses decided that my "bloodstain" drabble-like thing was part of a multi-chapter fic.

Trigger warning: mention of interrogation torture.

* * *

That night, Korra had to literally beg Lin to sleep in bed with her, and it had still seemed like Lin was going to refuse until Korra began getting tears in her eyes and wept that she was still just as afraid and lonely as ever, and would Lin really hate sleeping near Korra so much? Lin had protested that her objections were for Korra's sake, and she just didn't feel comfortable being in the same bed as a seventeen-year-old.

"That excuse is getting really old really fast, Lin," Korra had protested. "I'm the seventeen-year-old girl in question, and I want to be near you."

So that was how Korra ended up curled up happily under the covers of the bed with Lin. Or at least, Lin was there; she was lying as close to the edge of the bed as possible.

"Hey, Lin?"

"Korra, why are you bothering me incessantly and shunning everyone else? At first I thought it had something to do with both of us losing our bending, but now I'm puzzled."

Korra proceeded as if Lin had simply said "What?". "Remember when I was upset earlier today and you were sort of holding on to my head so I didn't feel like Amon still had me in his bloodbending grip?"

"Yes…let me guess, you want something similar now?"

"Please," Korra whispered.

Lin sighed. "All right. But if you wake up and elbow me in the face, I reserve the right to push you off the bed."

Korra grinned. "Fair enough."

Lin sat up; Korra looked up at her hopefully. "Turn onto your other side." Korra did, obligingly; she felt Lin move closer to her, pressing her front against Korra's back so they were snugly fitted together, not unlike the way Naga often curled up with Korra to sleep. Lin rested her chin on top of Korra's head and reached around to place her hand on Korra's forehead. "Better?"

"Mmmmmm," said Korra happily. "Much. You don't need to keep your hand on my face, though; I'm fine with your chin on my head."

"All right."

Korra felt the light pressure of Lin's hand on her forehead leave, but Lin chose to let her arm fall behind her back instead of wrapping it around Korra. "Oh, for crying out loud, Lin…" Korra reached back to grab Lin's hand and move the captured arm to drape over her waist. "There we go."

"You're comfortable like this?" Lin sounded surprised.

"Mm-hmm. I like to cuddle."

Lin gave Korra a little squeeze; Korra made a sound of unrepentant glee, her bending loss momentarily forgotten. "It's a very well-kept secret, but so do I."

"This is cozy. And it feels good," Korra sighed. "Nothing can harm me, for I am cuddled by a Beifong," she intoned. She closed her eyes, savoring the warmth of Lin pressed against her back, the mingled softness and firmness of Lin's frame, the strong arm wrapped around her waist. _I'm really not sure why I'm reacting like this to being with Lin, but I like it, _Korra thought muzzily. _It's so…soothing…_

"Korra, you are beyond strange sometimes."

* * *

Korra knew something was wrong the moment she woke up.

She reached out in the darkness for Lin, but there was no one there; in a sleep-dulled panic, Korra scrambled around the bed, her searching hands finding only air. Out of habit, she tried to form a fireball to illuminate the room, and cried out in frustration when nothing happened. "Lin?"

There was no response, but Korra strained her ears into the silence; after a moment, she heard a muffled noise. It was human, but otherwise hard to identify, and coming from the floor on one side of the bed. Korra crawled to the edge of the bed; moonlight streamed in from the window, illuminating Lin's curled-up body on the floor. She was face down; Korra could tell that she was in a fetal position, but not much else. "Lin!" Korra got onto the floor beside the other woman. "Lin, are you okay?"

The words felt foolish leaving her mouth. Of course Lin wasn't "okay"; her eyes were shut tight and her hand was clamped over her mouth to muffle small cries of what sounded like pain. The moonlight cast an eerie bluish pall over her pale face and glinted off the tears leaking from her eyes. Driven by an impulse she couldn't fully explain but that consisted mostly of "make her feel better", Korra brushed Lin's hair back from her face. "Is it the…is it what the Equalists did?" Korra asked softly.

Lin nodded, her eyes still shut tight.

It didn't look like it was her back that was in pain, though; she was curled around herself in a way that reminded Korra of the way she folded up when she was suffering from monthly cramps. Korra noticed with a start that Lin was biting into her own hand to relieve the pain; Korra pried that hand away and squeezed. "Come on back into bed with me. You'll be more comfortable. It's okay. It's okay."

Korra figured that Lin had ended up on the floor because she didn't want Korra seeing her in pain. But that was moot now, so she helped Lin back onto the bed as carefully as she could. Lin climbed onto the mattress, looking bent and broken, then curled into a ball again, making a valiant attempt to stop crying. Korra ran her hands through Lin's hair and lightly touched her scarred cheek, hating the sight of Lin's beautiful face contorted with pain. "I know you're hurt. I won't judge you for crying. I mean, you should have seen me blubbering at Tenzin after Amon beat me that first time."

"S-spirits, it hurts," Lin gasped out.

"I've got you," Korra whispered, despite feeling completely powerless to stop her friend's suffering. "Squeeze my hand." Lin did, so hard Korra half-expected to hear her bones cracking, but Korra did not let go. "It's not your back, is it?"

Lin shook her head. Korra noted the way she was pressing her legs together, and her imagination flitted unbidden into thoughts of just how depraved the Equalists could be with their prisoners. Korra's lips framed a question, though the thought of a positive answer made her sick to her stomach. "Lin…were you…were you raped?"

"T-technic-cally, n-no." Lin's voice shook so hard Korra had trouble understanding her.

Korra swallowed. "What do you mean, 'technically'?"

"N-not by th-the letter of th-the law," Lin managed. "They j-just…sh-shocked me."

Korra felt as if a massive fist had closed around her stomach; had there been anything in it, she would have thrown up. "You mean…like…with one of those electrified gloves?"

Lin nodded, a sob escaping her lips at the memory.

"Oh, spirits…" Now holding both of Lin's hands, Korra lay down facing Lin so their foreheads were touching. "I'm so sorry." She wanted to ask why Lin had been subjected to such cruel and unusual torture, but clearly Lin didn't want to explain or couldn't really speak. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Cold water. P-please."

"Okay. I can do that." Korra got up and bolted from the room, and when she returned with a bucket of water and a cloth, Lin was still curled up and biting the flesh of her forearm so hard that she was drawing blood. "Please don't hurt yourself any more, Lin." Korra set down the bucket and cloth beside Lin; in a flash, Lin had sat up and doused the cloth in water. She flopped onto her back and pressed the wet cloth to the join of her legs, sighing as the water soaked through her thin cloth trousers and the pain was relieved, if only momentarily.

"I must look like such a fool," Lin mumbled. "I'm sorry…"

"Lin, you have no reason to apologize. It's okay. I'm just glad you're feeling better." Korra pushed Lin's sweat-damp hair off of her face again. "Why did they shock you? Just to be horrible?"

Lin shook her head. "They wanted to know where you were. They whipped me. I tried to mislead them. Gave false information."

"You told me that," Korra reminded her gently. Lin kept going as if Korra hadn't spoken.

"They told me if I was lying, they'd do much worse. I was lying. They did worse."

Korra's stomach had just begin to feel somewhat settled; now it was churning madly again. "So they tortured you for protecting me."

Lin had stopped trying not to cry, and tears flowed down the sides of her face, dampening the sheets. She was almost panting; the relief brought by the cold water hadn't lasted long. Korra hastily re-soaked the cloth and gently placed it back over Lin's most terrible injury. "Th-thank you. You don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I do." Korra lay down beside Lin and took both of her hands, and this time she kissed the back of each hand. "You're so brave. When you first yelled at me for messing up your city, I had no idea you'd one day be going through this to keep me safe."

"I couldn't protect you. Or Tenzin. Or the children. Oh, spirits, take the pain away…I'm sorry I failed…"

"Shhh, Lin, shhh," Korra murmured, shocked by the thought that Lin thought her suffering might be some kind of cosmic punishment because Amon had ended up capturing the airbenders and taking Korra's bending. She moved closer to cradle Lin's head against her chest; Lin reached for her weakly and they ended up tangled in a kind of embrace, though Lin tried to keep her lower body as still as possible. "It's okay." Korra pressed her face into Lin's soft hair. "It's okay, Lin, you beautiful, brave hero. I'll keep bringing you water if you need it. Try to sleep. It's okay. I've got you."

This time, Lin was still in Korra's arms when she woke, but she looked awful; her eyes were swollen and red-rimmed from crying the night before. Korra stroked her hair a little, but before long Korra's stomach started growling, and she carefully maneuvered herself off of the bed slowly enough that she wouldn't wake Lin. Korra thought she saw Lin reach out after Korra in her sleep, but it was probably wishful thinking or something of the like.

Korra crept out of her room and into the kitchen area, where Asami was heating water over a wooden stove. "Hey, Asami."

"Korra!" Asami's eyebrows shot up. Korra couldn't blame her; she hadn't left her room at all the previous day. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks." Even cut off from her bending, Korra couldn't help but find herself driven by the impulse to help people, particularly ones she cared about, and right now Lin needed help. "A little hungry. Lin managed to pester me into eating a little yesterday, but it probably wasn't enough."

"The Chief lets you call her by her first name?"

"Yeah, we sort of…bonded. Because we both lost our bending and everything."

Asami nodded. "I was about to make some porridge. Would you like me to make some for you too?"

"Yeah…that's really nice of you, thanks. Actually, I wanted to ask…you had an herb garden at your, um, old house, right?" Korra felt proud of herself for not mentioning Asami's father. She'd always been rather tactless and she knew it—she was the avatar, so no one had bothered telling her off—but now was not the time for social blundering.

"Yes, it was a hobby of mine…how come?"

"Do you know any good herbs that can, um, relieve pain? It's Lin…she's really hurt. She won't tell me exactly how bad—she really hates letting anybody see her in pain—but the Equalists did something really awful to her."

Asami's brow furrowed. "Is she all right?"

"As all right as she can be, but don't ask about it; she'll just pretend everything's fine. She kept apologizing to me last night because I saw her crying."

Asami tilted her head to one side, thinking. "I know a couple of herbs…I'm not sure if we'd have any on the boat, but I'll check. And I'm not sure if the ones I'm thinking of would be better as a poultice or as an herbal tea. Let me check with Pema."

Korra wasn't sure about bringing Pema into the mix, but she nodded and went off to fetch Pema while Asami searched the kitchen.

Pema ended up deciding that the herbs Asami had been thinking of would be better as a poultice than a tea; Korra kept her mouth shut about that, although she was positive that anything that had to be directly applied to Lin's wounds would make everything between them much more awkward. (Lin would never allow Korra to help, even though Korra would want to; while Asami and Pema mixed the draught, Korra found herself thinking of ways to present the poultice to Lin without seeming like she was saying "Here's an excuse for me to put my hands all over you".) Asami, for her part, shot Korra a meaningful look when Pema asked why they were attempting this project, letting Korra explain. Korra took a deep breath, trying to choose her words carefully and hating her inability to speak eloquently. "It's the Chief. The Equalists did something…bad to her. She won't tell me what, but I know she's hurt. And since I can't heal anym—right now, I wanted to help."

Pema's brow furrowed. "You don't know what happened to her?"

"No, I only know she's hurt because I noticed when she thought I was asleep. I think she hates anybody seeing her…you know. Vulnerable. Um, I don't think anybody's ever going to know. I don't think she'll tell anybody." _Shut up, Korra, _she told herself. _They get it. _She was just praying that neither Pema nor Tenzin would end up bothering Lin about what had happened to her.

While Korra was distracted by thinking about a tactful way to offer the analgesic poultice to Lin, Asami and Pema finished it and Asami handed her the bowl with the completed mixture. "Oh—thanks. And I'm sure Lin will appreciate it too." Korra scampered off, hoping she was imagining Pema's eyes on her back.

Lin was still asleep, or at least pretending to be asleep. Korra went to the bedside and lightly touched Lin's hair. "Hey, Lin."

Lin stirred and blinked. "Korra…do you need something?"

"No, but I brought something for you." Korra indicated the bowl. "Asami helped me with it. It's a poultice. If you put it on the, um, whip…wounds…it will make them hurt less. Don't worry, I didn't tell her anything that happened to you. I said I didn't know."

Lin sat up, grimacing as her first movements of the day aggravated her injuries. "That was…thoughtful of you. Thank you."

"And I already know you don't want me to, you know, help with it. But I want to help with any of the…um…" Korra stumbled again, deciding she hated talking about Lin's injuries directly. "I figure you're pretty flexible, but I can probably reach your back better than you."

"Fine," said Lin dully, rubbing her eyes.

_Note to self: if you want Lin to agree to something, make sure she's disoriented and sleepy, _Korra thought. She climbed onto the bed; with her back to Korra, Lin pulled off her nightshirt. Korra carefully rested the bowl on the mattress and began stripping off Lin's bandages. They were only slightly bloodstained, to a small enough degree that they might not need to be changed. "How are you feeling?" Korra hazarded.

"Like a million yuan," said Lin sarcastically.

"But better than last night, I hope?" Korra pressed.

Lin sighed. "Yes…thank you."

"You're welcome." Korra dipped two fingertips into the poultice before realizing she had forgotten something. "Oh…it would probably be a good idea to wash the…um…yeah. I'll get some soap and water." Korra ran off, her cheeks aflame. She couldn't very well rub the poultice into Lin's whip wounds and _then _wash them, could she? Why was she so scatterbrained around Lin?

When Korra returned with a bowl of sudsy water and the cloth that had already sacrificed its blue color to Lin's bleeding back, Lin was still lying half-asleep in the bed, resting on her stomach so she wouldn't aggravate her wounded back. _At least it's her back that's bothering her the most right now_, Korra thought grimly. Lin hadn't noticed her coming, though, and didn't turn around when Korra entered the doorway. Korra hesitated. Something about the sight of Lin, half-undressed and injured, trying to get comfortable among the mussed bedsheets, held Korra's attention, but she felt a small pang of guilt for staring; she now knew exactly how much Lin hated being seen in any state of pain or discomfort. "Hey, Lin," Korra said gently as she edged closer to the bed and closed the door so nobody else could witness Lin being vulnerable. "Sorry, I…I guess I'm kind of scatterbrained today."

"It's fine," Lin replied flatly. She sat up, arms wrapped around herself to conceal her body from Korra's view.

"I guess you're still hiding from me?" Korra dipped the cloth into the soapy water, wrung it out, and began carefully dabbing and scrubbing the long, ugly whip weals; Lin flinched and tried in vain to hide the little involuntary twitch.

"Wouldn't you be a bit disturbed if I weren't 'hiding from you'? Is everyone in the Southern Water Tribe incredibly comfortable with their bodies these days or something?"

Korra ran the cloth over a particularly nasty-looking wound that crossed Lin's left shoulder blade. "No, just…I guess…I would hope that you were comfortable with…you know. Me."

"Well, I suppose there isn't much point in me attempting to have any privacy now. One of the ways Amon made an example of me was having his Equalists parade me around naked and whip me in front of the other prisoners. It was almost brilliant how demoralizing it was for the others, as much as I tried not to…react."

Korra felt tears stinging her eyes. "That's…that must have been awful."

"It was. Imagine knowing a fifth of Republic City had seen your bare ass."

Korra made a noise that had been a laugh when it started, but somehow got turned into a cry of surprise. "How can you joke about something like that?"

"It's either that or cry about it."

Korra rested her forehead against Lin's shoulder. "I hope one day I can be as brave as you."

Lin didn't say anything. Korra kept cleaning the whip wounds until she had covered each one. The last time she had washed Lin's injured back, she had adjusted to the sight of the wounds enough that they had stopped troubling her. This time she found herself trying to ignore them to bring on that effect more quickly; it wasn't working. All she could think of was how every cell in her brain was screaming for her to summon her waterbending healing and let her hands glide over Lin's injuries, stitching together the broken skin, the hideous inflamed pulsing red fading to the thin white of a scar, or better, gone forever…

Korra couldn't stand it anymore. She let her fingertips rest on the skin of Lin's shoulder blades and closed her eyes. Since she was such a miserable failure at meditating, Tenzin had never attempted to teach her how to actually contact spirit world. It would come with time when her meditation was deeper, he had said.

_Are you there, spirits? _Korra called out silently. _Please help me. I need my healing back. _She tried to remember the gut-wrenching sound of Lin's muffled sobs of pain. She tried to remember how powerless she had felt to help. _Please let me heal my friend._ She closed her eyes so tightly it hurt, straining so hard to project her thoughts into the spirit world that her teeth clenched.

Nothing.

"Korra…what are you doing?" Lin sounded puzzled.

Korra heaved a sigh. "The first thing I do when I get my bending back is going to be healing you."

"That's a kind thought, Korra, but…I think we should let Katara handle that."

"I might be young, but I'm a good healer!" Korra protested.

"You can heal my back, I suppose, if this is still about you needing to salve your conscience," said Lin heavily.

"I just want to make you feel better." Korra trailed her fingertips down Lin's sides as if just that small touch could make the wounds vanish. "I hate seeing your back all covered with…with whip marks like this…it's just…you're so beautiful; I don't understand how anyone could do this to you…"

Lin pulled away sharply, turning to glare over her shoulder at Korra. "The fact that I have a sense of humor does not mean I appreciate being mocked."

Korra blinked. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you really expect me to believe you actually find me beautiful?" Lin reached for her nightshirt.

"Oh, spirits, did I say that out loud? Lin, I'm sorry, it just kind of…slipped out…but yeah, I think you're beautiful! I think you're gorgeous."

Lin paused in the middle of putting her nightshirt back on. "Truly?"

"Yes!" Korra insisted. "I never really noticed before…before recently, but you have such a pretty face. And…a really nice back."

Lin sighed and held the nightshirt to her chest instead of pulling it over her head. "Forgive me. I'm used to having my seismic sense to help me discern when people are being truthful…and…I have grown to suspect ulterior motives when someone compliments me."

"Oh." Korra nodded knowingly. "People kissing up to the boss?"

"Sometimes," said Lin briefly. "Are you done with the cloth?"

"Um…yeah."

"May I see it?"

The water had gone cold, but Korra handed Lin the cloth. She watched as Lin gave a cursory scrubbing to what Korra could only assume were whip marks on the front of her body.

"Did they whip your…your front too?"

"Just a bit. They were trying to come up with something exquisitely painful to punish me for giving them misleading information. They tried this before one of them decided to get creative with the electrified gloves."

Korra whimpered. "Can I..um…try the poultice now? On your back?"

"You may." Lin dropped the cloth back into its bowl and sloped her back forward slightly to make it easy for Korra to apply the medicinal mixture.

"I hope this helps." Korra dragged three fingers through the bowl of herbal poultice and cautiously applied the pale green-brown stuff down the length of the deepest scar.

Lin let out a long breath. "I think it does."

As quickly as she could while still being gentle, Korra applied the poultice to every centimeter of every whip wound. "Better?" Korra noticed that somehow her hands had ended up on Lin's waist.

"Yes. Thank you, Korra…you are very thoughtful." Lin retrieved her nightshirt and put it back on, forcing Korra to let go of her. Korra found herself feeling something like disappointment as the dark cloth of Lin's nightshirt fell into place over her previously exposed skin.

"Lin…what about…um…"

"I took care of my other injuries while you were getting the soap and water."

"Oh. Okay."

"Have you eaten yet?"

"No…but Asami was making porridge, and she might have left the ingredients out for me."

"We should both eat. I haven't been as good about eating as I have been about trying to make sure you eat. You go ahead; I have to change."

Korra nodded. She couldn't think of any way to hang around while Lin was changing her clothes without seeming creepy, so she walked back to the kitchen and found that Asami had not actually left the porridge ingredients out; instead, she had made a large portion of porridge and left it in a bowl for Korra.

"It would seem Asami knows you eat like a pubescent boy." Lin came up behind Korra. "Or else she's trying to tell you that you need to make up for your refusal to eat the past few days."

"Oh, come on, I do not eat that much," Korra countered. "She probably wanted to make enough for both of us." She looked over at Lin, who was wearing some kind of jungle green tunic that looked to be a very traditional Earth Kingdom style. "You look different without your armor."

"Many people don't recognize me unless I'm wearing it. I know, I look like a complete fool in civvies."

"What in the ass end of the spirit world is 'civvies?'" queried Korra, mystified.

Lin snickered at the expression. "Civilian clothes. Now stop avoiding the food." She searched through the cabinets for a serving spoon and a smaller bowl.

"Why are you so bent on making sure I eat? You care, don't you?"

"Of course I care. You're the avatar." Lin ladled some of the porridge into a bowl for herself.

"You never cared about me being the avatar before." Korra sighed. "And I'm not the avatar anymore."

"What did I tell you about saying that?" Lin reached out and squeezed Korra's shoulder. "Until the spirits tell you otherwise, they made the right choice with you."

"The spirits don't talk to me. Maybe they're ashamed." Korra folded her arms.

"Korra, listen." Lin paused to make sure she chose the right words. "I knew Avatar Aang well. He would be proud of you. And I'm sure if he could offer you some help and advice right now, he would."

Korra couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, Lin."

"You're welcome. Now eat your porridge." Lin walked off, stirring her porridge with a spoon.

Korra grinned to herself. "Yeah…she totally cares."

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is so late, but I'm a PhD student; what do you want from me?


	3. Healing

Bloodstain

Chapter Three: Healing

Summary: While on the journey to the Southern Water Tribe to see if Katara can restore her bending, Korra finds that, unsurprisingly, Lin Beifong is the only one who really understands how it feels to be cut off from her bending. Korra also finds that Lin has suffered more than being "equalized". Pre-Linorra.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Pairings: Korra/Lin ("Linorra", "Korralin")

Author's Notes: We get to see old!Katara in this chapter. I wish she were in the actual LoK show more.

* * *

Korra was standing on the prow of the boat with her eyes closed.

"I thought it pained you to be thinking about the water."

Korra opened her eyes; Lin was standing next to her. Again, she was wearing some kind of robe or tunic that was of a traditional Earth Kingdom style, belted at the waist with a tall, slitted collar; this one was a pale yellow with forest green trim.

"Hi, Lin. You should dress like that more often."

Lin made a moue. "I know you're feeling depressed and frustrated, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't take it out on me."

Korra blinked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I don't appreciate being mocked. I believe I already had to tell you that once."

"I wasn't mocking you! I think you look nice."

"Ah." Lin looked down at the water, somewhat deflated. "I'm sorry. You'll have to forgive me; thanks to my mother's blindness, no one has ever genuinely complimented my appearance."

Korra's brow furrowed. "Wait, not even Tenzin?"

"Tenzin is many things, but he's not a liar. So, no."

"Well, when you had me in the interrogation room and Tenzin walked in and said 'you're looking radiant as usual', I kind of assumed that was something…he, you know…used to say…"

Lin chuckled dryly, once. There was no humor in it. "He would never have said something like that to me seriously."

"Nobody you've dated has ever told you that you're pretty? Did you only ever date blind guys because you knew your mother would like them?"

Lin was quiet for a moment. "My last lover used to joke about how plain I am. She used to say, 'Bring me that ugly face' and then kiss me. And once, I was going to be home late because we had a perp who went wild and threw a chair through the two-way window in one of the interrogation rooms. I called her and told her what happened, and she asked me if the mirror had looked at my face."

"Spirits, that's awful!" Korra burst out. "I bet that relationship didn't last long."

Lin sighed. "Almost three years."

"It took you 3 years to realize you deserve way better than being called ugly!?"

"No…we were living together and I found out she was sleeping with someone else. Someone…prettier. Younger, too. I told her I didn't care who else she saw as long as she let me know, and she told me to pack my things and leave."

Korra made a noise of disgust. "Wow. What a bitch. Why were you with her anyway?"

"She gave me nice presents. But mostly, she was the only person who would put up with the long hours I worked. Or my personality, for that matter."

"Um…you never thought…I don't know, that you'd rather be single than with someone like that?"

"You wouldn't understand. You're young and charming and beautiful, even if you can be a complete brat." Lin shook her head. "I'm sorry. You don't need to hear about my pitiful attempts at a love life."

"It's okay," Korra insisted. "I came out here to feel the breeze. I thought if I closed my eyes and didn't look at the water, I could feel more…connected to the air. Since I can airbend now. I thought I'd feel less…lonely and empty and…miserable. How did you put it? 'Half like losing a limb, half like missing a close friend'?"

"Something like that. Come here." Lin held out an arm to Korra, who gratefully accepted another one of Lin's tight, warm hugs. Her first instinct was to throw her arms around Lin, but at the last second she remembered that Lin's back was injured, so instead she rested a hand on Lin's hip. After hesitating for a moment, trying to figure out to do with her other hand, she hooked it over Lin's shoulder and squeezed.

"Just…for future reference…I think you're pretty," Korra mumbled into the other woman's shoulder.

Lin snickered. "Tell me that when I have my seismic sense back and can detect lies more easily."

"You really think we'll get our bending back?"

"Amon was full of sh…of falsehoods. There must be a way to restore our bending."

Korra sighed happily as Lin sifted one hand through her hair, which she hadn't felt like putting up. "Is it weird that I thought about wearing my hair down today because I was hoping you'd do this?"

"No. Clearly it's one of the few things that comforts you."

"Yeah…it's nice…so are you…I wish I could hug you…"

"It's fine. I'd rather you not aggravate my back. The poultice helps, but it's not perfect."

"I'm glad it helps," Korra murmured. "Are you sure you're not okay with me healing you?"

Lin gave Korra a little squeeze. "You can heal my back. Even if I were somehow deluded enough to ask you to take care of my other injury, I don't know if you're an experienced enough healer."

Korra whimpered. "Is it that bad?" Her mind fogged and inhibitions lowered by the much-needed comforting embrace, she pressed her lips to Lin's shoulder.

"I thought you were obsessed with my hands. Now it's my shoulders?"

"You have nice shoulders," Korra murmured.

Lin passed a hand up and down Korra's back. "That's a strange compliment, but I'll take it."

"I know earthbenders live for…you know, ever. Is that why you're still so…" Korra trailed off, remembering how she had watched Lin execute bending moves on top of the bending arena that she wasn't sure even she could perform. "Awesome?"

"I still work in the field for certain cases, and I train recruits. I also don't like to spend extravagantly, particularly on myself, but I was able to use some of my mother's money to put up some training equipment in my yard. If I get soft, I could easily get killed."

Korra gently squeezed a shoulder muscle that was only slightly less yielding than granite. She wanted to say something nice, something else complimentary, but her mind was wrapped in a comforting haze and she couldn't think of anything. "Mmm."

"Something wrong?" Lin began to step back, but Korra held on to her.

"Please…" Korra kissed Lin's shoulder again, and Lin got the message and pulled Korra back into the tight embrace from a few moments ago.

"Why do you keep kissing me? I wasn't going to say anything, but it's getting strange. Are you always this affectionate?"

Korra had to think about that. "I am pretty affectionate, but…well…you didn't like it when I kissed you like a badgermole. So I guess I thought I should kiss you like a human. Do you…um…want me to stop?"

Lin didn't answer for a moment. "I don't mind that you're…affectionate with me. I know you feel unbalanced and lonely right now. To be honest, so do I. And as long as I'm being honest, I care about you. We're both public figures, and it would be best for both of us if we were able to maintain a friendship. After you have your bending back, I don't want you to look at me and feel any…shame or regret, and then avoid me. Would you let me hold you like this if you hadn't lost your bending?"

"Yeah! I hug everybody."

"This isn't a hug. This is clinging."

"Okay, then. Cling!" Korra squeezed Lin's shoulders again, still fighting the impulse to wrap her arms around the other woman.

"You know, Korra, if you weren't the avatar, I would be convinced that you had been a badgermole in a former life. They cling to me like this when they're kits."

"What's a kit? A baby badgermole?"

"Yes."

"That sounds really cu—"

"Hey." Mako's voice came from behind Korra. "I have to talk to Korra."

Lin suddenly drew back from their embrace, and this time, Korra couldn't help but whimper at the loss to contact. Suddenly, Lin was all gruffness. "I hope you've eaten today, avatar. I could feel your stomach growling."

Korra watched Lin go, hands stuffed into her pockets. There was no indication that she was in pain, or that a few seconds ago she had had her arms wrapped warmly around Korra. She felt Mako take her by the shoulder and turn her around, and she felt herself pulled into another hug. She hadn't noticed how much she had enjoyed certain aspects of being held by Lin, but she missed how her head fit against Lin's shoulder, the softness of Lin's chest, the heartbeat just above hers.

"Is Chief Beifong bothering you?"

"No, she's helping me." Korra realized that she had forgotten to put her arms around Mako and that she didn't much care about that fact.

"I thought you hated her. You used to practice airbending at a picture of her."

"She's really nice when you get to know her. And you shouldn't have interrupted us. She was telling me about baby badgermoles."

Mako said something after that, but Korra wasn't paying attention.

* * *

The boat docked at the South Pole early in the morning. Korra was not awake yet; she was still in bed, tucked under Lin's arm. The horn blew and the captain shouted that they had arrived, but Korra was dead to the world. Lin pulled her arm away from Korra; still half-asleep, the girl whimpered and turned over, searching for the lost contact.

"Korra." Lin scratched Korra's scalp lightly with her fingernails. "We're here."

Korra made a strangled whine and nuzzled close to Lin again. "No." She wrapped an arm around Lin's waist.

"By 'here', I mean we're at the South Pole. To see Katara and get our bending back."

Korra looked up. "We're here?"

"That would be what I said."

Korra rolled onto her back, eyes closed. "Thank the spirits."

Lin slid off the bed and immediately set about getting dressed, having accepted that Korra didn't mind watching her change clothes and hoping that Korra might be persuaded to also get dressed.

"Hang on." Korra slouched out of bed. "What about your bandages? Don't you want me to put the poultice on?"

"Really I just want to get to Katara as soon as possible."

"You aren't going to back out of letting me heal your back, right?"

"If you still want to heal my back after your bending has been returned, you may."

"Of course I'll still want to!" Korra set about changing into her clothes; Lin turned away out of respect and said nothing. She knew perfectly well that she and Korra had bonded over their bending loss, and after both of them had their bending back, Korra would likely be embarrassed about the way she had acted. She would probably avoid Lin and act ashamed for a while. Lin felt a small pang at that thought; she would be lying to herself if she said she wouldn't miss Korra's little affections. And it had certainly been…comfortable, sleeping with Korra tucked under her arm. _Don't think like that, _she told herself sternly. _Korra is seventeen and not interested. And even if her…odd behavior does mean she is interested, she won't be for long._

"We'll see," said Lin briefly.

"And after you're all healed, I can actually hug you!"

Lin decided not to ask why Korra was so happy about that prospect. In fact, Lin didn't speak at all on the way to see Katara. This was partly because Korra was holding tightly onto Lin's hand for most of the walk, and Lin was mildly afraid of what might happen if she called attention to that fact. Mostly, she didn't want Korra to let go.

As happy as she was to see Katara, Lin kept her greeting short. She also got to meet Korra's parents, who were both younger than her. Or perhaps they only looked so young because they both looked worried sick. Lin didn't blame them, especially when Korra ran to them for an embrace and all three of them started crying. Lin set her jaw and tried not to think of how much she wished her mother were there.

Katara took Korra to a private room to see if she could restore Korra's bending. Lin sat next to Korra's parents, across from Korra's friends and Tenzin and his family. None of them spoke. Lin had no idea how long she sat there; it felt like hours and could have been minutes, but there was no clock and Lin's sense of time had completely abandoned her. Finally, Katara emerged. Lin leapt to her feet and was about to speak, but she was struck dumb by the crestfallen look on Katara's face.

Katara spoke. "I've tried everything in my power, but I cannot restore Korra's bending."

Lin felt a lead ball drop in her stomach. "But you're the best healer in the world!" She burst out. "You have to keep trying!" _I kept telling Korra you could help…she'll be so crushed…_

Katara hung her head, a gesture Lin had never seen her make. "I'm sorry. There's nothing else I can do. Korra can still airbend, but her connection to the other elements has been severed."

Korra came out of the room, an expression of unsubtle misery on her face. Lin felt a lump rise in her throat and, again, she couldn't speak.

Tenzin beat her to it. "It's going to be all right, Korra."

"No, it's not." Korra sounded near tears. She bolted from the house.

Lin wanted to follow Korra, apologize for getting her hopes up, tell her that surely there was some other way to restore her bending. But again, she was beaten to the punch when Mako got up and left, following the distraught avatar. _She probably would rather talk to him, anyway, _Lin told herself.

"Lin?" Katara's voice broke through Lin's reverie. "Korra tells me you require some healing."

Lin's voice continued to fail her, so she nodded and followed Katara back into the room where she had been attempting to fix Korra's bending. She swore she could feel several pairs of eyes on her back; surely the others were wondering what Katara could do for Lin if bending restoration was impossible.

"What did Korra tell you?" Lin managed to get out.

"She said the Equalists tortured you for information, but she was not specific as to how."

"Ah." Lin undressed. She had no secrets from Katara; the woman had been like a second mother to her and had nearly become her mother-in-law. Katara gasped lightly as Lin began unwrapping her bandages.

"These are serious wounds."

"You don't have to tell me," said Lin dryly.

"What made these?" Katara lightly touched the skin of Lin's shoulder beside one wound. "Was it a whip?"

"Yes. And that's not all they did." Lin was now naked to the waist, so she undid the drawstring on her trousers and let them fall down. Katara saw that there were bandages wrapped around Lin's groin almost like underwear, and her eyebrows shot up.

"My child…what did they do to you?"

"Creative use of electrified gloves. They were trying to get me to reveal Korra's location."

Katara closed her eyes for a moment. "And I thought I'd seen everything."

Lin sat down. "Korra and one of her friends made a poultice that helps with the pain, but I've been looking forward to getting these healed."

"That's a change," said Katara softly. "But I'm glad."

Lin shrugged. Ever since her graduation from the Beifong Metalbending Academy, Lin had never allowed a healer to take care of any injuries of hers, particularly those sustained in the line of duty. The only exception was when she sustained a serious burn on her left thigh, because she would have had a long recovery that would keep her away from work. And even then, she refused to allow it to be healed completely; she wanted the scar. "I want people to be able to see what I've gone through as an officer," she had insisted when her mother—who, after all, had little to no context for judging people by their appearance—had said she didn't understand. "More importantly, _I _want to have a reminder of what I've been through." Lin had been particularly happy with her decision after she was appointed Chief of Police. Her scars certainly helped with her reputation.

"This is…unusually bad." Lin sighed. "As I'm sure you noticed."

With a flick of one hand, Katara pulled a stream of water from a nearby ceramic jug and let her hands hover over Lin's shoulders. Lin sighed with relief as the water began to glow with healing energy. She had only been healed with waterbending once, and she had forgotten how miraculous the sensation was; after a brief moment of pain, it tingled, but not unpleasantly, and was refreshingly cool…but there was an element of the sensation that felt hallucinatory. "And, Aunt Katara…"

"You want to keep the scars." Out of her peripheral vision, Lin saw Katara shake her head. "You've always had lovely skin. I'll never understand why you insist upon letting it be marked up."

Lin nearly made a retort about how Katara had never actually become her mother-in-law and should stop acting as such, but she held her tongue. "I have my reasons."

Katara finished healing Lin's back and her chest. Lin stood up and removed the rest of her bandages. At the sight of ugly burns on Lin's flesh, Katara covered her mouth and began to cry.

"Aunt Katara?" Lin sat back down, covering herself with her bandages. "I'm sorry."

"Those monsters," Katara whispered.

"Interesting choice of words. That's what I said too," Lin smiled humorlessly.

Katara stood and let her weathered hands rest on Lin's shoulders for a moment. "My poor child."

That time, Lin didn't mind the epithet. "I think I'll have to break my own rule about leaving scars."

Katara nodded, wiping her tears away with a hand assisted by waterbending. "Lie down. I'll see what I can do."

Lin lay down and closed her eyes. She gritted her teeth as Katara began healing her charred flesh; it hurt more than the whip wheals on her back had.

"Lin…" Katara's voice was choked. "You may experience some…loss of sensation. You need reconstructive healing that even I can't perform."

Lin said nothing for a moment. "Just do your best. Please. I'll be happy if it stops hurting."

Eventually the icy tingle of the waterbending healing faded and Katara stood up. "You are fully healed now. I'm sorry I can't do more."

"Korra will find a way to restore our bending," Lin whispered, sitting up to retrieve her clothes and begin to dress again. "Amon was a fraud. The spirits never gave him any power. Surely the avatar will find away to overcome it…"

"I wasn't referring to your bending, but of course that's what you are concerned about. Korra looked crushed when I found that there was nothing I could do. She told me that Amon used bloodbending to block her waterbending, earthbending, and firebending, but I only used bloodbending once, when I was younger than Korra. It is a discipline that I am loath to study, and I could not risk causing Korra further harm by using it on her. There isn't a full moon at the moment, but I wouldn't be surprised if I were capable of some bloodbending anyway."

"You used bloodbending once?" Lin felt her eyes widen. She immediately regretted that; Katara's shoulders hunched and she curled in on herself, and for the first time, Lin thought she actually did look old.

"The woman who taught me about bloodbending—or perhaps she was the first to discover it; I don't doubt it—was controlling both Sokka and Aang. Bloodbending was the only weapon I had in my arsenal to stop her before she caused Sokka to run Aang through with a sword." Katara's voice had gone strangely flat.

Lin shivered. "Then you had no choice." She paused for a moment. "Spiritual matters were always Tenzin's forte, but Uncle Aang did tell me about the chakras when I was young. I can't recall what its name was, but…wasn't the chakra that dealt in insight and illusion—or at least it was blocked by illusion—located in the center of the forehead? That could mean—that _must _mean—that Amon's bending removal is only an illusion."

"Ajna, the light chakra." Katara nodded. "Yes…I remember. I was working off of that theory as well. Unfortunately, I don't think chakras are accessible by waterbending healing."

Lin was quiet for a moment. "I want to go check on Korra."

"Poor girl." Katara shook her head. "I've never seen her so upset. I could have sworn I saw the light leave her eyes. It's like she died inside for a moment."

Lin's stomach lurched. She remembered Korra saying that she was no longer the avatar, wondering if the spirits were ashamed of her or if they had made the wrong choice by choosing her…

And Korra had just looked so _devastated…_

No. Korra couldn't possibly be considering ending her own life. She was too smart for that, and too strong…

"I have to go," Lin blurted out, hastily pulling on her boots and practically flying out the door and completely ignoring the strange looks she garnered from the other assembled people connected to Korra. Tenzin was standing outside the house, looking dejected. "Where's Korra?" Lin demanded.

Tenzin jumped at her sudden arrival. "Lin…what's wrong?"

"I'm worried about Korra."

Tenzin blinked. "We all are."

"Where did she go?" Lin persisted.

Tenzin made a helpless gesture. "She needs to sort this out on her own. We need to be patient."

"I'm afraid she's…"

Lin was suddenly cut off by Korra charging over the hill, running straight into the arms of Mako, who picked her up and whirled her around. The moment Korra had appeared, Lin had felt relief wash over her, but when she watched the boy's arms lock possessively around her, she felt her heart sink.

The thought hit her like the blast of fire that had caught her off-guard and resulted in the burn scar on her leg: she couldn't pinpoint when, but at some point during the journey, she had fallen in love with Korra.

Bloody, bloody _damn._

When Mako leaned in to kiss Korra, Lin turned away, unable to watch; but she heard rapid footfalls in the snow and turned back just in time to see Korra barreling straight at her and feel the girl's arms wrap tightly around her. Before she could stop herself or even think about stopping herself, Lin hugged Korra back. "I was worried about you," Lin whispered. It was only then that she realized that Korra had just been offered a kiss from a handsome boy who was near her age and she had chosen to hug Lin instead. The thought made her hold on to Korra even more tightly.

"So was Avatar Aang," Korra whispered back. "He stopped me at the edge of the cliff. In every way possible. He gave my bending back!"

"What?" Lin gasped.

"Yeah!" Korra stepped back from their embrace to hold Lin's hands tightly. "He showed me how to energybend or spiritbend or whatever it's called. It felt like…like suddenly a bunch of gates in my spirit were thrown open, or maybe they burst open, and then it felt like I was floating or flying or both or something, and I realized I was in the avatar state! And I think that means I can give your bending back!"

Korra's rush of words came so quickly that it took a moment for Lin to piece everything together. But finally Lin got it. "You can return my bending?"

Korra was kissing Lin's knuckles. "Yeah!" She grinned. "I'm so excited I can barely talk. Sorry about the attack hug…are you okay?"

"Aunt Ka—er, Katara fixed me up."

"I still get to return your bending. Nobody but me can do that!"

Tenzin had been watching, flabbergasted, but finally he found words. "Korra, did I hear that your bending was restored!?"

Korra nodded, bounding up and down like a hyper child. "I saw Avatar Aang! He fixed my bending and now I can fix Lin's! And everybody's!"

"You should tell your parents," Lin advised; she didn't want Korra to let go of her hands, but then again, both Mako and Tenzin were watching. Funny, she had completely forgotten about that.

"Oh, right!" Still holding onto one of Lin's hands, Korra ran into the house, dragging Lin with her. "Mom! Dad! I met Avatar Aang and I saw all the other avatars all standing behind him in this huge triangle and then he touched my forehead and I felt my bending come rushing back and he showed me energybending and now I'm the avatar again and I can return everybody's bending!"

Much like Lin, everyone else present took a while to absorb what Korra was saying. Bolin, however, seemed to be the most fluent in Korra's dialect of "too excited to speak properly", and leapt to his feet with a cheer.

"All right! Korra's got her bending back!"

"And you never stopped being the avatar," said Lin gently, squeezing Korra's hand.

Korra's parents got up to embrace their daughter; it was only then that Korra let go of Lin's hand. Tenzin, who had followed Lin and Korra inside, raised a questioning eyebrow at Lin. She ignored him, because she didn't know what Korra's continued affections toward her meant either.

* * *

Later, Korra would insist on returning Lin's bending ceremonially; that was how Lin ended up on one knee in front of Korra on a dais in the western sector of the village while Korra rested one hand on her shoulder and placed one thumb on her forehead to unlock her earthbending. (Since her conversation with Katara about the light chakra, Lin had been thinking of her bending as being blocked, not removed.) Korra had also chosen the location; she had made sure there were plenty of boulders around. "We have to make absolutely sure you have your bending back," she had said. "I'm new to this spiritbending thing, and I want to know you can earthbend like you could before Amon took your bending."

Lin had managed not to cry out when Amon had stymied her connection to the earth; she had a similar difficulty when Korra began restoring that connection, but for a much different reason. From the slight pressure of Korra's thumb on her forehead came the most extraordinary sensation. It felt as if Korra's spirit itself, not just her hand, touched the center of her forehead, and there was a feeling not unlike that of a knotted muscle being relieved of tension after a long workout except twenty times as intense. Her bending came flooding back, and "flooding" was really the only appropriate word for it; it felt as if waves surged through her body—blood, bones, and muscles alike—and the waves tingled like electricity, except Lin was fairly sure that that sensation was her mind's way of making sense of what was happening.

And she could feel the earth beneath her again. Not just feel, but really _sense _every characteristic of the rock; its contours, its impurities, the lines along which it would crack if struck. She looked up at Korra for a moment, hardly able to believe her bending had been restored. She got to her feet, lifting her arms to pull the earth with her, and as she rose, so did several boulders that were taller than her. Lin stood there for a moment, relishing the feeling of the earth under her control again, before lowering the boulders with a satisfying _thud. _She turned to Korra, unable to hold back a small smile. "Thank you." She had never meant those words more in her life, but she felt unable to inject that feeling into her speech. She found herself wishing that she could somehow show Korra her thanks, since words seemed inadequate.

While she was thinking, Korra suddenly grasped both of her hands tightly. "Lin Beifong," Korra announced in a voice meant to carry, "I, Avatar Korra, love you. A lot." The reverberations in the earth told Lin that Korra was telling the truth.

Lin's arms were wrapped tightly around Korra before she could stop herself, one hand on Korra's back and the other cradling the back of Korra's head the way she now knew the girl found comforting. Korra's arms were around her too, squeezing so tightly it almost hurt, her head on Lin's shoulder and her warm breath on Lin's neck. Lin let herself hold Korra for a moment. Later, there would be regrets, awkward questions from Tenzin, and difficult conversations with Korra about why whatever there was between them wouldn't last. But for a few long seconds, Lin was happier than she had been in years.

* * *

A/N: I'm not dead. Close to it, but still writing.


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